


when the sun rises in the west

by katkeransuloinen



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Death, Internal Monologue, Regret, Reincarnation, Wish Fulfillment, like a lot, like at least 96 percent of the story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:47:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25982332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katkeransuloinen/pseuds/katkeransuloinen
Summary: Tokinada finds himself pondering, sat against the wall with his final breaths rapidly approaching.He has time to reflect on the life he'd spent so many years risking.
Relationships: Jūshirō Ukitake/Tokinada Tsunayashiro
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	when the sun rises in the west

**Author's Note:**

> this is a quick thing i typed up so it may not be great, but nevertheless, i hope you lot enjoy it!! <3

_"One day—"_

He could hear it. 

He could hear his voice. 

Tokinada found that he'd momentarily lost consciousness, feeling blood still dripping past his lips and off his chin.

_Surely, my teeth are hideously stained now._

_"One day—"  
_

Tokinada couldn't speak, only able to look around at the hazy chaos that surrounded his rapidly diminishing body. 

_I can hear your voice._

Enrakyoten lay, blood-stained and just out of his reach. 

Shunsui stood less than a metre away, looking down at his rapidly perishing old friend with that look. 

_Pity._

If he could've managed, Tokinada would have spit right in his face for looking down on him in such a disrespectful manner.

_How dare he._

_Such trash like him pitying me._

He closed his eyes yet again, attempting to collect his thoughts. 

_"One day, Tokinada..."_

How short his hair was back then.

_"One day I'll become a captain, and you will too. We'll change things, you and I."_

_She reminded me so much of you, of how you were back then._

_Back when you didn't tremble in my presence._

_I called you a friend all those years ago._

"Tokinada," Shunsui spoke, interrupting the few pleasant memories he held onto in his twilight moments, "I'm sorry it had to end this way."

Slowly, those cold, disdain filled green eyes met Shunsui's. Though his voice was weak, Tokinada spoke despite that.

"S-Shut... up..." He retorted lowly, curling his shaking, weak hand into a fist. "Do not s-speak... such p-pathetic words in my p-presence, Shunsui." 

He'd lost. 

Tokinada knew that.

_Kakyo?_

_Can you see me now?_

_Had you been more like me, you would be overjoyed right now._

_But you weren't like me._

_You're probably at peace by now._

His eyelids grew heavy once more, his hand now limp on the floor as each breath felt like a marathon. 

_That day._

_I've never been able to forget it._

_How you trembled, unable to speak just standing before me._

_She reminded me so much of you before you saw me that day._

_I always hated her, just t_ _he sight of her made me sick._

_She was everything I wasn't._

_You were everything I wished I could be._

_You were everything I never was._

_When I saw her die, I thought it would kill the part of me that was always thinking of you._

Tokinada's vision, dark and fading, returned to look at Shunsui. 

He appeared so sad. 

Why would he be sad?

_There is no chance he'd be sad to see me go._

_Almost a hundred and ten years of house arrest came upon me because of him._

_"What is your dream, Tokinada?"_

_Your voice._

_Each time you spoke, it felt warm, welcoming._

_Like a freshly brewed cup of beautiful tea._

_"I want to be able to die without any regrets."_

_You smiled at that._

_You were always smiling._

_"That's a good dream. I think you'll be able to do that."_

_You were one of the only people who ever truly saw any good in me._

_And you were right._

_I shall die without regrets._

Though his eyes were still ever so slightly open, Tokinada could no longer see the plan that had been laid to waste all around him.

They stung, his now cloudy, empty green eyes. 

_No._

For the first time in his adult life, his eyes were beginning to well up. 

Tokinada could see the vivid image of his only true friend. 

His pristine snow hair, pulled back in a ponytail, cascading down his back like a waterfall. 

Eyes, a perfect springtime green, that radiantly sparkled. 

_I failed you._

_All these years and yet I still see you smiling at me._

_I never deserved you._

_I never deserved that smile, that warmth._

A warm, weak tear escaped from his eye. 

_You're the reason I'm unable to die without any regrets._

_You two were the only good in this repulsive world._

_But—_

_I failed you the most, Jushiro._

_And for that, I have one regret._

_"No matter where you are, I want you to remember something, okay?"_

_I hated you for telling me that._

_"I'll always be here for you if you need someone."_

_You made a promise you couldn't keep._

_You idiot._

_You died._

_You knew you couldn't keep that promise, so why did you say it to me?_

Another small tear escaped, and faintly, Tokinada could swear he heard footsteps coming closer. 

Though the majority of his sensation had disappeared, he felt as though someone had taken his hand in their own. 

His eyes hurt so much, it infuriated him that he couldn't even see anymore. 

_Why did you have to die?_

_I never felt alone in this world after I met you._

_Then you went and died like the moron you were, trying to save everyone else._

Tokinada had lost everything. 

He had to wonder if he'd already died, he couldn't tell. 

But someone still held his hand.

_Shunsui._

_You're doing what you think he would've wanted you to do._

If he could've, Tokinada would've laughed. 

_It's funny how things turn out._

_I guess it was always a ridiculous notion— dying without the burden of regrets._

_Wishful thinking, it's human nature._

_Jushiro._

_I know it's too late to ask for your forgiveness._

_You're probably beating yourself up about what I've done, wherever you might be._

_But..._

Now, Tokinada could no longer sense Shunsui's presence, right beside him or anyone else's, for that matter. 

Nothing.

_Perhaps one day I'll be able to make it up to you._

_I hope I can make it up to you._

_Jushiro Ukitake._

_I hope I can meet you again someday, in a better world._

_In a world that deserves you._

_I'm sorry._

~~

_For years, I never felt anything._

_For years, I had an unwavering desire to be good._

_When I dreamt of that man, the man I never knew, it always made me feel like I was on the right path._

He stood, looking down at his phone screen as he leaned back against the wall of the clothing store. 

Patiently, he waited for his sisters to finish up inside. 

The man he'd dreamt of lingered in his mind, having seen him once again the night before. 

So vivid did he seem him this time.

Pure white hair, bright emerald eyes and a smile unlike any other. 

Outwardly, he may have appeared completely transfixed on his phone but he was smiling inside. 

Brightly, happily. 

Brushing a bit of his dark green fringe behind his ear, he lifted his gaze to look out at the street before him. 

All sorts of people walked past him; parents with their children, school kids on their way home and couples out on shopping trips together. 

Someone walked past him. 

It made everyone seem as though they moved at a snail's pace.

His eyes widened as he turned to look at the man who was now continuing down the street. 

Black hair pulled back in a loose bun with a streak of silver running through it. 

Nearly falling over himself, he rushed to catch up.

As he reached out, his fingertips just barely brushed against his shoulder before the man turned around. 

_I felt you._

_I've been trying for years to feel something._

Those bright spring green eyes looked at him, slowly beginning to widen as his own eyes of olive green stared in disbelief. 

A small word left the man, one just barely above a soft whisper as those beautiful eyes began to tear up. 

"You." 

_Today, I felt something._

_In a world that deserves you, I've finally felt something._


End file.
